Saera and Matt
May 27, 2001

ABOUT THE BRIDE: Saera is an assistant professor of psychology at Western Washington University in Bellingham, Washington.

ABOUT THE GROOM: Matt is a research scientist at Fuji-Xerox Palo Alto Laboratory in California.

HOW WE MET: We were both doctoral students at Washington University, St. Louis.

ENGAGEMENT: Although we had previously discussed getting married, Matt formally proposed on New Year's Day. We found a beautiful antique engagement ring in Seattle.

PLANNING: Planning was an exhausting whirlwind! During our planning, we were conducting a long distance relationship with full time jobs. On top of that, we actually had two ceremonies: a religious and more traditionally Indian one in Chicago and a week later, a legal ceremony in front of friends and close family in St. Louis. Neither of us wanted our celebrations to be over-rehearsed or planned and did not want to have the stress of planning a wedding for a full year, so we set the date and location only three-and-a-half months prior to the big day. We were incredibly lucky to have our first choice, the Missouri Botanical Gardens, available during Memorial Day weekend. The majority of our guests were flying in from all over the country, so having our wedding during a three day weekend made it easier for people to attend.

ATTIRE: Saera wanted to wear a traditional Indian outfit. In Chicago, she wore the traditional red and gold wedding outfit and wore a pink and gold sari in St. Louis. Both outfits were brought over from India. She wore traditional Indian jewelry and had her hands and feet painted with henna. Saera's sisters and mother wore traditional Indian outfits as well. Matt wore a dark suit with a gold tie. His mother wore a lovely blue organza dress. Our goal was to have everyone be themselves and feel comfortable in what they were wearing.

THE CEREMONY: Our ceremony blended both American and Indian traditions. We decided that instead of having bridesmaids and groomsmen, we would have our families walk down the aisle. Not having the traditional wedding party was nice because it allowed us to highlight how important our families are to us and our close friends were able to relax and just enjoy our wedding without the stress and expense of bridesmaid dresses and tuxes. The jazz band played "My One and Only Love" by Johnny Hartman and John Coltrane as we walked down the aisle. Matt's mother and brother and Saera's father gave heartfelt speeches during the ceremony. After the judge conducted our vows, we followed Indian tradition by having each of the mothers place a garland of flowers around the neck of her new daughter or new son.

THE RECEPTION: The reception immediately followed the ceremony. The Missouri Botanical Gardens looked beautiful and we had a jazz trio play at the wedding. Guests enjoyed a buffet dinner followed by a wedding cheesecake. Guests mingled and looked at the Chicago wedding photos while the bride and her younger sister passed out traditional Indian party favors. When, the bride tossed the bouquet, all the women backed away from it. After it fell to the floor, a helpful guest comically picked it up.

HOW WE PERSONALIZED THE WEDDING: We had guests from so many different places and we wanted to spend as much time as we could with them. So, we did not have the customary dance reception. Instead, we had jazz music in the background and everyone mingled and walked around the gardens at night. Saera also had past pictures of almost all the wedding guests displayed at a gift table so that everyone felt included.

THINGS WE LOVED: We loved seeing so many of our family and friends. In the past few years, we both have done a lot of moving and had separate circles of friends on different coasts. It was wonderful to see them all in one room together making new friendships. We are glad that at the outset we established the idea that we wanted to enjoy the wedding and not put on a "show". Thus, when things did not turn out as we planned, we rolled with it. We have only fond memories and feel fortunate to know so many incredible people.

Flowers by Jardin
Ceremony/Reception at Missouri Botanical Gardens

If you have questions or comments for Saera and Matt please e-mail them at saerakhan@yahoo.com.